Searching for My Place

Well, some of the stress has let up but some continues.

Tony has a verbal job offer from a company in Germany. We are both impressed with the way the company employees presented themselves and hope to have a firm offer in writing soon. If we can get that it will take a lot of the stress off.

Tony feels that we will have plenty of time for his work permit to come through and will not have a lapse period where we are virtually countryless. We can go to Germany and stay there for about 3 months, I believe, on a travel visa but that will not help us about having an income. But for now we are in a better situation than we were in and that is always a good thing.

I, however, have had no luck finding any kind of employment. I have been searching freelance job boards and applying for just about anything in writing, copy-editing, public relations, advertising and graphic design. I have applied to numerous jobs and have yet to receive even one inquiry. Actually, there was one person who did write and tell me I was much too qualified to design the T-Shirt he needed. I wrote him back telling him I had just recently moved to Denmark where I am not working, do not speak the local language, and I have no friends in town, I AM BORED!  I practically begged the guy to let me do the job for him just so I would have something creative to focus my mind on. I never received another reply.

Not working is so hard for me. When I was 15 I wanted to work so I could have my own money that did not come from my parents. At that age no one was willing to hire me because I fell under child labor laws. So since I could not get a job working for someone else, I started my own company, Independent Cleaning Services.

The company my mother worked for at the time needed to hire someone to clean their offices. I started my cleaning service and got the contract. I have been working pretty much non-stop since then. Even when I was going through 7 surgeries in 6 months in 2004 I was working as often as possible. I would even go to work with fresh stitches in my head, covered by a pressure bandage, hidden under a scarf. I just don’t know how to not work.

I keep trying to focus my energy on optimizing my profiles on all the job boards and on LinkedIn. I hope that someone somewhere will see something in me and my work that will appeal to them. Until then I will keep being the best housewife I can be but in all honesty I do not know how women do this job.

It seems like there is a never ending list of chores that have to be done. The cooking never stops. The cleaning never stops. I wondered how I managed to do all of this when I was working but then I realized that I didn’t do all of this when I was working. I got a lot of drive through vegetarian burritos and just skipped mopping and many other chores until it absolutely had to be done.  I remember nights when I was so tired after work that I would just grab whatever was in the fridge for dinner. More than once I just had a cucumber or almond butter straight out of the jar for dinner. I’m sure there were a few nights where dinner was just potato chips.

If nothing else, being unemployed has given me time to renew my cooking skills. Tony is regularly treated to three course dinners, all made with fresh whole foods. I’m not sure if he will be entirely thrilled when I get a job. It will mean a reduction if not an end to the dessert course. I just won’t have the time. Typically I bake when I am bored. For months there has been a constant stream of bread pudding, brownies, crumb cakes, and various cookies. If I am working there will be less boredom and fewer sweets in the house. I think my psyche and our waistlines might benefit from the change.


Next Up: Cooking Vegetarian in Denmark



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